As anyone who lives in a house share will know, it is a patchwork of passive aggression, enforced tolerance, covert food stealing and unlikely friendships - much like the ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ house.
Yes, the Borehamwood bungalow may be a place of hyper-reality, but it actually reveals a lot about what it is really like to co-habit with people you don’t know.
Here are 31 experiences you will most certainly have had as a flat-sharer, as told by this year’s crop of ‘CBB’ stars...
1. When you realise someone has managed to get in the shower before you and you’re now going to be late for work
2. When the persistently messy housemate finally learns that dirty plates belong in the dishwasher and not on the side
3. When you realise the housemate you thought was a virgin has brought someone back after a night out
4. Cut to 10 minutes later when you can hear too much through the partitioned wall
5. When you realise someone has eaten the last of your bread and hasn’t replaced it
6. When the most successful housemate starts giving out unsolicited life advice
7. When the housemate with terrible taste in TV won’t change the channel
8. When a new housemate moves in and you immediately take a shine to them
9. And you later try and lay the moves on them
10. When the bossy housemate orders you to take part in a group spring clean of the flat
11. The position you wish everyone would assume when watching your favourite show
12. When your housemate has invited their overly-opinionated friend over and you know you’re going to spend the next two hours discussing Brexit
13. When you get home from work first and claim the spot on ‘the good sofa’
14. When you stumble home with a group of mates at 3am and give zero fucks about waking the rest of the house up
15. When you manage to bag the biggest room in the house after having to draw straws for it
16. When your housemate starts explaining their job in data science with great detail
17. When you find that one housemate who becomes your bestie
18. And you then agree to always have each other’s backs in any house row
19. When a quiet night in with Netflix and wine gets out of hand
20. When you hit peak boredom of a Sunday afternoon and drag someone up to see what it would look like
21. When you agree to a house night out and learn one flatmate can’t handle their booze
22. When you politely ask how your housemate’s day was and get an answer way longer than anticipated or required
23. When a new housemate’s friendly facade begins to drop
24. When drinking wine alone in bed at 8pm is a preferable to spending a minute longer in your housemates’ company
25. When there’s a rare moment of group bonding
26. When that one flatmate who everyone hates announces they are moving out
27. When an argument breaks out between two of you and everyone else doesn’t really know what to do with themselves
28. When you realise you’ve got the whole place to yourself for an entire weekend
29. When you get home from work with exciting news and a low-key entrance isn’t an option
30. When the one housemate you like the most returns from a week away to save you from the rest of them
31. When you’re so tired from being kept up all night that the simplest of tasks become impossible
The ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ final airs on Friday 2 February at 9pm on Channel 5.
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